I’m a good girl. Always have been. Blame it on my Mama. She scared me so much that the mere thought of her “talking me to tears” was enough to keep me from doing almost anything wrong. No bad grades, no back-talk to teachers (well, except for my male teachers. I have always had a problem with male authority figures.), no sneaking boys in my room (I like actually living.), no rebellious stuff against my parents, no weed (didn’t even experiment in college, but hung around mad smokers and sellers). Oh, alcohol was another story, but I was 18 by then. I missed the tatto/piercing phase as a college freshman. There’s something about permanency that bothers me! I even waited until the ends of the earth to have sex for the first time.
I guess you could say I was pretty square to an extent.
My good girl behavior has held true even as I have crossed over into “Grown-Ass Woman” adulthood. But you know, sometimes I wanna be bad.
Whenever someone describes me, the words “classy” and “sophisticated” are shelled out. That’s wonderful. I consider them compliments because every woman just doesn’t have it like that. BUT.Though it’s so not my style, I want to take sexy pics with my phone and send them to my on/off again Boo. Show him what he’s been missing. Sometimes, I want to talk dirty, give somebody The Eye. You know the one that says, “Come get me NOW!” Be the aggressor like what Usher was talking about in “Trading Places.”
Don’t get me wrong, I know how to the do the sexy thing. Hell, I am sexy ( got a few folks who could vouch for me, too)! I know sexiness can be exuded just by walking down the street in silence, but it takes a lot for that to come out of me, as far as me doing it purposely.
So I guess I mean classy sexy vs NASTY sexy. That’s it!
I’m wondering when will side of me (everyone has one, not just Beyonce’) come out. She’s struggling to come out at my old age. I have a few secrets that make me not as goody-goody as one might think, but they’re secrets for a reason.
(Sigh) I’ll let you know how that turns out.
The Venting Room 